Thursday, November 5, 2009

ROUGH DRAFT OF MY ARGUMENTATIVE ESSY

There needs to be an immediate revamping, reorganizing and reshaping of the Jamaica Constabulary Force (JCF) .The Jamaica Constabulary Force (JCF), which is the main body responsible for policing in Jamaica, is not making any progress to stop the continuous rise of gang activity in Jamaica and unlawful killings by police officers. The Bureau of Special Investigation reported that between 2000 and 2007, 1422 people were killed and a further 1115 were injured by police in Jamaica making it one of the highest rates of police killings in the Americas. The most common problem which is associated with policing in Jamaica is corruption. This corruption results in the failure of the Government to protect people in inner city communities from gangs and police violence. Most of the crime and violence which occur in Jamaica is related to gang activity. Jamaica is a small Caribbean island of just over 2.5 million people and it’s known to have one of the worst murder rates in the world. The Board of the Jamaica Constabulary Force needs to go back to the drawing board and lay out new policies and programs so as to ensure for effective policing to wipe out criminal gangs, corruption within the police force and unlawful killings in Jamaica.

Most organized gangs in Jamaica are located in the inner city neighborhoods, which is generally abandoned by police forces and the society at large. People who live in these neighborhoods are usually poverty stricken, unemployed and lack the basic necessities of life. Gang leaders in these inner city neighborhoods tend to control the lives of people living there. They collect taxes, distribute jobs, food and punish those who disobey or break gang rules. Men and young boys are at the greatest risk of violence as they are the ones who are mostly targeted by gang members for recruitment in criminal gangs. These men and young boys also have to follow orders by carrying out special tasks which they cannot refuse to do as they fear what might be done to themselves and their families. There was a situation where one woman told Amnesty International that her neighbor’s 12-year-old son was sent by a gang to another community, carrying a gun. The boy was robbed on his way there and he knew that he was going to be killed if he came back without the gun and without the money, so he ran away .The mother was killed the following morning. Many women in these communities are also affected by gangs .They has to involuntarily engage in sexual activities with members of the gangs. If they don’t they risk themselves and members of their family dying. Most women in these inner city communities are also single parents as the father of their child was victim of gang violence. “Informer fi dead”, this is a phrase use in Jamaica which states that anyone who inform on another should die. Residents who witness gang killings in their communities are afraid to go to the cops because they know that there’s a great chance that they are going to be killed. This shows how greatly affected and feared people are of criminal gangs.

In 2006 the JCF recorded a 15% overall reduction in major crimes. However on the flip side this showed that in 2006 the rate of major crime committed was a whopping 85%. This showed that the actual occurring of major crimes was more than five times the reduction which proved to be not so much of an achievement by the JCF after all.

A poll published by the Jamaica Gleaner in January 2007 found that Jamaicans believed that every other police officer was corrupt. Many residents in inner city communities believed that police officers were directly apart of criminal activities on numerous occasions. There were numerous cases where people would relay information to the police and they were killed before the police reach the community. Many believed that corrupt officers told the gang leaders who the informers were .The actions of corrupt cops who leak information to criminals add to the resistance in communities to provide helpful information to the security forces. By revealing the identity of sources of information people’s lives are put at risk .The fear of retaliation is so great, particularly in hot-spot communities, that breaking the vicious cycle of crime and police involvement has become an extraordinary task. In the 2006 Road Map to a Safe and Secure Jamaica which is a report of the Special task Force on Crime in Jamaica reported that JCF personnel of different ranks expressed the view that majority of their senior officers were corrupt or tolerated corruption within the force. The report also provided number of corrupt practices which has become very common .These include selling gun licenses and ammunition , dropping charges for serious offences, warning criminal gangs of planned police actions and removing or tampering with evidence. It was reported by the Jamaican Gleaner newspaper that in the beginning of 2006, police personnel were involve in unlawful activities such as the infamous 'lottery scam', which has been blamed for an increase in recent murders across the parish, drug dealing, incidents of extortion and a most embarrassing incident in which a police vest, which was not reported missing, was found in the hands of criminals. The Jamaica Gleaner once wrote about a cop who confessed that he was corrupted for the first 18 years of his 20 years in the force."My introduction to corruption came about two weeks after graduating from the Police Academy," admits the police officer. "A woman constable and I were detailed for a 12 to six mobile patrol duty along with an acting corporal, who is now a superintendent of police," the 20-year veteran confesses to The Sunday Gleaner. He continued: "The acting corporal drove a nice car, was outspoken and very popular. He had about nine years service and boasted of many accomplishments. He made it clear that nothing was wrong with making money, but we simply had to know how to do it."

The stated values of the JCF is, “We serve, protect and reassure with courtesy, integrity and proper respect for the rights of all”, but this does not represent the dominant culture of the JCF nor how the public perceive police. The dominant culture of the JCF is that of command and control which has severely hindered its effectiveness. It promotes prejudice, thus serving to distance the police from communities which foster a culture of fear among the general public. This has also lead to the failure of the police to protect people in gang violence prone communities. People who live in these areas are usually discriminated against. There is a particular stigma that is associated with communities where gang violence is rampant. Police tend to treat everyone in the community as criminal and police abuse and violence tends to be very common.

Unlawful killings otherwise known as extrajudicial executions within the police force are very typical. In many cases the attempts to cover up the evidence, the “code of silence” among the security forces and the absence of efficient investigation are very common. In an article written by the Jamaica Gleaner newspaper it provided the Amnesty International Full Report which showed that Amnesty International has documented many cases of police brutality, some resulting into torture. Victims commonly include criminal suspects and their relatives, as well as children and women. Documented methods have included beatings, burns with hot irons, suffocation in water and mock executions. Another incident reported by the Jamaica Observer newspaper in March of 2008 talked about a cop who allegedly shot a 10 year old child and is still on the run to this date. Investigators said Constable Walter Spikes who was accused of killing the child, left the island before a warrant was issued for his arrest, based on a ruling by the Office of Director of Public Prosecutions in December 2003.Spikes is accused of killing the child as he chased a youth on foot, who was smoking a ganja spliff in a nearby market. The ex-cop allegedly fired his weapon at the drug offender but the bullet hit young Renee instead. Renee died on the spot from a single bullet wound to the back of the head. Her death sparked a massive demonstration in Jamaica.

The condition within the JCF can be fixed with the establishment of an independent body of investigation, with the right kind of leadership and with the full cooperation of key police officers and other respected individuals. This independent body would be responsible for monitoring and overseeing police actions and misconduct and to ensure that the JCF is operating effectively. The Anti Corruption Unit of the JCF needs to implement more effective and efficient plans to combat corruption. The police federation must become more aggressive and begin to get rid of the corrupt cops from its ranks. There also needs to be an expansion of a counter –gang task force which will have as its main responsibility the identification and pursuit of gangsters. There also needs to be a more secure witness protection program so people can be less fearful to report crime which they witness. Many people fear reporting crimes because they know that they will not be protected and as such they would be victims of brutal deaths. There’s a great distrust of citizens towards police officers. I believe that the JCF should set up an agency to build bonds and trust between police and citizens. The Jamaica Constabulary Force also needs to retrain police in the legitimate use of force and alternatives to the use of firearms so as to prevent unlawful killings and deaths of innocent people.

With these changes within the Jamaica Constabulary Force and implementations of new policies gang activity, corruption and unlawful killings will reduce drastically

7 comments:

  1. Comment by Isamar Caban :This essay will be about the Jamaica Constabulary Force and the violence caused by gangs who live in Jamaica. The writer feels the JCF must be restructured in order for the violence caused by gangs to decrease. The introduction tries to “hook” my attention by sounding urgent and listing the statistics involving the horrible murder rates in Jamaica. These two things combined places a serious tone over the introduction. I would suggest that the writer make the introduction shorter. I feel one or two statistics should be fine in order to set the tone of the essay in the introduction, but the rest of the statistics or background information can be saved for the body of the essay. The introduction is just a bit overwhelming right now.
    Some of the arguments in the essay are the following:
    * JFC needs to provide a better witness protection program in order for more members of a community to step forward and tell of the violence going on
    *JFC needs to head the expansion of a task force that can go after gangsters and put a stop to their activities and violence
    *JFC needs to get rid of corrupt police officers
    *JFC needs to concern itself with creating stronger bonds between citizens and the police
    Unfortunately, I cannot see any mention of any counter arguments in the essay. The writer doesn’t focus on the opposition, but about getting the point of the argument across. The writer should mention the opposition and the counter arguments in this essay in order to add to the essay and the argument.
    The strongest point that the writer brings across is that the violence caused by gangs in the communities must come to an end. The way the writer describes the horrible conditions in these communities is so unsettling. Men, women, and children are surrounded by drug abuse, sexual abuse, and violence. You feel for these people. It gives the reader a glimpse into these people’s lives which is full of fear, pain, and suffering. The weakest point that the writer makes has to do with the JFC eliminating police corruption in the system. I think it is a weak point just because the essay doesn’t speak about how the JFC could go about doing this. I think this is a point the writer should strengthen and not get rid of. A point that is mentioned that should be made stronger and given a bit more detail is the idea for a better witness protection program. In Jamaica and in many neighborhoods in New York, there is a belief that if you see something and tell the authorities about what u saw than you are a snitch. As a result, killers and thieves get away with their crimes and aren’t brought to justice. This point is one that could really add to the essay and make it relatable for the reader. A counter argument that the author has not addressed is how the JFC can eliminate police corruption completely. How can one really tell if a police officer is decent or not? I think Jamaica is so in need of police officers that if all corrupt police officers were eliminated, there would be hardly any to serve the people of Jamaica. Having just a handful of good and honest police officers will not make much of a difference in Jamaica. Quantity does matter.
    If I were going to rewrite the thesis statement I would say: The JFC must be restructured in order to restore safety to the communities of Jamaica.
    With these changes within the Jamaica Constabulary Force and implementations of new policies gang activity will decrease and unlawful killings reduce.
    I would rewrite this part as follows:
    “With these changes to the Jamaica Constabulary Force, gang activity and violence within the communities should decrease.”
    Overall, the writer did a great job with the essay. Well Done!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Amanda Wright
    1.
    A. This paper is going to be about the Jamaican Police Force
    B. The writer's positions is that the Jamaican police needs to be changed and lessen the rate of killings.
    C. The introduction hooks my attention by telling that Jamaica has the highest rates of murder and how many murders there are compared to how many people live there.
    D. I think she could take out the sentence that tells what the JCF were, and instead just compare them to the police in the US in the second sentence.
    2. The arguments supporting her thesis are that the police do not go into the inner cities allowing gangs to be prominent and in charge and kill people if they disobey their rules. Another argument is that the police are corrupt and are telling the gang leaders who the informants are so they are killed because police can do anything. Also the police are telling the gangs about police actions before they happen so they can move everything incriminating.
    3. I didn't notice any counterargumnets in her essay.
    4.
    A. The author doesn't really deal with the opposition, but in my opinion no one would not want the police to not kill anyone. The only people who would be in opposition are the gang leaders, and members.
    B. In my opinion of the writer's strongest point was she had a lot of details and research to support her opinion.
    C. In my opinion the writer's weakest point was that she
    D. I feel that the essay is organized in a well manner that works with the topic and helps understand the topic
    E. I do not really know anything about this topic so I can't really think of any other arguments to support this topic.
    F. In my opinion there aren't really any counterarguments for this topic
    5.
    There needs to be an immediate revamping, reorganizing and reshaping of the Jamica Constabulary Force(JCF). Jamaica is a small Caribbean island of just over 2.5 million people and it’s known to have one of the worst murder rates in the world. The JCF, which is like the US police, is not making any progress to stop the continuous rise of gange activity in Jamaica and unlawful killings by police officers. The JCF has one of the highest rates of police killings in the Americas, The Bureau of Special Investigation reported that between 2000 and 2007, 1422 people were killing and a further 1115 were injured by the JCF. The JCF is very corrupted and the corruption results in the failure of the government to protect people in inner ciry communities from gang and police violence. As reported by Amnesty Organization Jamaica had around 1500 homicides in 2007 alone. The Board of the Jamaica Constabulary Force needs to go back to the drawing board and lay out new policies and programs so as to ensure for effective policing to wipe out criminal gangs and unlawful killings in Jamaica.
    6.Many has to involuntarily engage in sexual activities with members of the gangs
    *Many women have to involuntarily engage in sexual activities with gang members, because of other people around them are involved in gangs.
    The actions of corrupt cops who leak information to criminals add to the resistance in communities to provide helpful information to the security forces. By revealing the identity of sources of information people put lives at risk
    *When the police leak information to criminals add to the resistance in communities to provide helpful information to the security forces, and also by the corrupt cops revealing the identity of the sources it puts peoples lives at risk.

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  3. Vinod Siwlal
    the essay will be about Jamaica Constabulary Froce and gang activity in Jamamica.
    the jcf needs to make changes.
    the introduction captures my attention because jamaica has a high crime rate and nothing is being done.
    try to make the introduction shorter. many of the information you gave can later be metion in the essay like " As repeated by Amnesty Organization Jamaica had around 1500 homicides in 2007.
    Agruments
    police offices are corrupted
    jcf needs a better protection plan
    jcf should create stronger bonds with the citizens and police
    counter arguments
    i dont see any
    did not metion the opposition, should include it
    strongest point
    she metions the gang activties and uses many examples to back it up
    weakest point
    should explain how the jcf can go about making the bonds with the citizens and police better
    i think the argument is organized
    strong point
    you can propose a idea that people need to be come togther and fight ( not physical) against the gang crimes.
    a coutner-argument can be used is that how can we get rid of the police that does crimes.
    Thesis
    The Jamaica Constabulary Force should makes changes that would benefit the country of Jamaica, rather than hurting it.

    The condition within the JCF can be fixed with the establishment of an independent body of investigation, with the right kind of leadership and with the full cooperation of key police officers and other respected individuals
    The Jcf can change it's organization by establishing independent bodies of investigation,having uncorrupted police officers, and making the individuals have a little more responsibilty.

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  4. This essay is about the Jamaican Constabulary force is not doing enough for getting rid of the gang activity in Jamaica. Her position is the JCF need to change their approach on the gangs into some effective one. It hook my attention because Jamaica was one of the highest police murder rates in the world. What the thesis needs is a counterargument but the thing is its hard to think of one when no can say allow the killings in Jamaica.

    Her arguments are that the police are like on the payroll of some gangs as in they help them out, and the police that are not corrupt do not go into the inner cities.

    Her counterarguments were not present.

    Her opposition was not there because you can't really have one for this topic. Her strong points were the facts she had and the research she had done. Her weak points were not having a counterargument proving the disapproves. The essay is well organized. I can't think of any counterarguments because the only one that would say no are the ones dying.

    Most of the crime and violence which occur in Jamaica is related to gang activity.

    *Most of the crime and violence which occurs in Jamaica is related to gang activity.

    your paragraphs were very strong with facts and research but your missing your tone. To me it just felt like facts, facts, and facts. I couldn't find a tone that really showed your voice in the essay. So i would say some facts can be removed in order to put your voice in their.

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  5. ELISHEVA LIVIEM

    1.
    A. I think this essay will be about how the Jamaica Constabulary Force (JCF), which is the main body responsible for policing in Jamaica, is not making any progress to stop the continuous rise of gang activity in Jamaica and unlawful killings by police officers.
    B. The writer takes the position that the JCF has a lot of reshaping to be done and needs to be more effective with their policing on Jamaica.
    C. The introduction “hooks” your attention by telling us how many hundreds of people are killed by the police. This is a very sad and disturbing thought and makes a person interested on how to help fix this problem.
    D. It’s a great introduction, but mayb the writer may want to shorten it a little and only include the main points.

    2. Supporting Arguments:
    -The Bureau of Special Investigation reported that between 2000 and 2007, 1422 people were killed and a further 1115 were injured by police in Jamaica making it one of the highest rates of police killings in the Americas.
    -People who live in the inner city neighborhoods are usually poverty stricken, unemployed and lack the basic necessities of life. Gang leaders in these inner city neighborhoods tend to control the lives of people living there.
    -Men and young boys are at the greatest risk of violence as they are the ones who are mostly targeted by gang members for recruitment in criminal gangs.
    -In the 2006 Road Map to a Safe and Secure Jamaica- reported that JCF personnel of different ranks expressed the view that majority of their senior officers were corrupt or tolerated corruption within the force.
    -In an article written by the Jamaica Gleaner newspaper it provided the Amnesty International Full Report which showed that Amnesty International has documented many cases of police brutality, some resulting into torture.

    3. Counterarguments:
    - I don’t see any counterarguments. But the writer did a great job supporting her argument and I am definitely convinced!

    4.
    A. I don’t see the writer dealing with the opposition at all. It seems pretty clear to everyone that some sort of change needs to be done with the policing system in Jamaica and I don’t even see how an opposition to this can be raised.
    B. The writer’s strongest point were the ones which she cited actual newspapers, showed statistics and polls that were taken, and gave the numbers from the Burea of Special Investigation.
    C. Weakest point is that there is no counterargument.
    D.Yes, very well organized. However, may be too long.

    6. You wrote:
    “They has to involuntarily engage in sexual activities with members of the gangs.”
    You should write:
    “They have to….”


    7. I think this sentence may be a run-on sentence and just sounds awkward:

    The Board of the Jamaica Constabulary Force needs to go back to the drawing board and lay out new policies and programs so as to ensure for effective policing to wipe out criminal gangs, corruption within the police force and unlawful killings in Jamaica.

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  6. Robert Bernardo

    1A. This essay will be about the how gangs are causing chaos in Jamaica, and how the Jamaica Constabulary Force needs to be changed.

    B. She is taking the side that the gangs are corrupting the country, and that the main body of policing in Jamaica is not doing enough to stop it.

    C. The author tries to hook the reader by telling about an extremely serious situation where people are dying everyday. Not many people are aware of this situation including me, which made me have interest in the essay.

    D. The introductory paragraph could definitely be improved in my opinion. There are many facts in the introduction, which could be used in later paragraphs. I would get rid of the third and the sixth sentences. I would also change the first sentence because the three words revamping, reorganizing, and reshaping all mean the same thing.

    2. The arguments include that many of the police officers are corrupt, and they must be gotten rid of. The JFC needs to stop distancing the police and the everyday citizens. The gangs and the police are allies, and tell each other what is going on. The police tell who the informants are, and let gangs run certain areas.

    3. The counterargument is not brought up. However, I think the author is better off not bring up the counterargument. It is extremely hard to say that less should be done to control gangs, and that there is no problem with the killing. No counterargument should be used.

    4A. The opposition is not brought up. Yet, it might be excusable to not bring up the opposition in this essay.

    B. The strongest argument I believe is the fact that you are very knowledgable about this situation. Every claim is backed up with many facts, which makes your statements credible.

    C. The weakest argument is the fact that you do not write in your own voice throughout the essay. Include an analysis and not just an example. This would make it easier to read.

    D. This essay is organized in the most effective way. However it was very long, and I got lazy and did not feel like reading anymore. Shorten it a little bit.

    E. I have no knowledge of this topic, and your argument convinced me, so I would keep it as is.

    F. No counterargument should be added. This would be hard to add, and would be confusing to the reader.

    5. I feel that more needs to be done to control gang activity in Jamaica. The Jamaica Constabulary Force (JCF), which is the main body responsible for policing in Jamaica, is not making any progress to stop the continuous rise of gang activity in Jamaica and unlawful killings by police officers. Each day people are dying, and this could be stopped by putting an end to corruption, and bringing about change. The Board of the Jamaica Constabulary Force needs to go back to the drawing board and lay out new policies and programs so as to ensure for effective policing to wipe out criminal gangs, corruption within the police force and unlawful killings in Jamaica.

    6. The dominant culture of the JCF is that of command and control which has severely hindered its effectiveness. The JCF uses command and control in its reform, and this has made it less effective. It promotes prejudice, thus serving to distance the police from communities which foster a culture of fear among the general public. It brings about prejudice, which creates a distance between the police and the general public.

    7. Sounding collegy- Unlawful killings otherwise known as extrajudicial executions within the police force are very typical. In many cases the attempts to cover up the evidence, the “code of silence” among the security forces and the absence of efficient investigation are very common.

    ReplyDelete
  7. 1. This essay will be about the JCF not doing their job which is the cause for all the killings in Jamaica. The intro hooked me because i didn't realize how bad Jamaica was but when i saw the number of deaths i was like woah! Shorten it.

    2. "The Bureau of Special Investigation reported that between 2000 and 2007, 1422 people were killed and a further 1115 were injured by police in Jamaica making it one of the highest rates of police killings in the Americas."
    Because of the lacking effort of the JFC the Jamaicans feel every police officer is corrupt.

    3. No counter arguement

    4. Doesn't deal with opposition. Your strongest point is stating the number of killings and you seem like you know a lot about this topic. Not only do you not have any counter arguements your weakest point is "In 2006 the JCF recorded a 15% overall reduction in major crimes. However on the flip side this showed that in 2006 the rate of major crime committed was a whopping 85%." A 15 percent crime reduction is just one year is a big drop. Its organized well. You need a counter arguement but i'm not so sure how it would fit in.

    5. Start off what Jamaica is => Jamaica is a small Caribbean island of just over 2.5 million people and it’s known to have one of the worst murder rates in the world. The Jamaica Constabulary Force (JCF) needs to be reorganized. The JFC is the main body responsible for policing in Jamaica, is not making any progress to stop the continuous rise of gang activity in Jamaica and unlawful killings by police officers etc..

    6. "They has to involuntarily engage in "
    They have to involuntarily take part in sexual activities with gang members

    7. Unlawful killings otherwise known as extrajudicial executions within the police force are very typical. In many cases the attempts to cover up the evidence, the “code of silence” among the security forces and the absence of efficient investigation are very common. In an article written by the Jamaica Gleaner newspaper it provided the Amnesty International Full Report which showed that Amnesty International has documented many cases of police brutality, some resulting into torture.

    ReplyDelete